Motherhood is Truly Remarkable!

Because this article has been quite the buzz on social media lately I decided to write my own response to this blogger's post. I have to admit the first time I saw it, I decided to ignore it because I knew it wasn't true and it seemed a waste of time to read in to. However, as I began to see the effect this was having on so many people (not to mention my five-year old daughter who was furious about this woman's words and cried) I decided to add my two cents.

I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry

Here is my response: 

Dear Amy,

The first thing that came to my mind when I read your article was that if it weren’t for a mother you wouldn’t be here. You said in your article "You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids." I'm not sure how you define exceptional but I couldn't find that statement further from the truth. I'd like to share with you my story of being a young, full-time stay at home mother of four and an entrepreneur.

Being someone who has experienced both worlds and took a planned course of motherhood, I couldn’t be happier having been able to go after my dreams while fulfilling the most important role on this Earth – raising a family.

I got engaged to the love of my life at age 18 and married at age 19. An easy "task" according to you, however both my husband and I worked full-time while attending college full-time through fall, spring and summer semesters until we both had graduated and paid off our loans.

At age 23 I was a college graduate still working full-time and had built my first home. My husband and I loved to travel and I was working in my field if study in a well paying job and writing my first book. While some may have looked at me and thought I was living my dreams, I was actually staring out the office window each day dreaming about being a mother and quitting the nine to five. I had much bigger dreams and felt trapped inside a brick and mortar building that was holding me back. I wasn’t happy.

Well, at age 25 I had accomplished that “task”. Giving birth to your first child is indescribable. My husband and I melted in tears of joy as we saw our beautiful son for the first time. There was a bond there that was instant and couldn’t be broken. For the first time, I felt I had the most important responsibility in the entire world that a degree or fancy job title couldn’t match.

I quit my job which meant learning to be extremely frugal. I learned to be selfless, patient, loving, compassionate and understanding in ways I had never experienced before. My life had transformed and I was better for it. The rewards for choosing this course have been undeniably incredible. While spending each day teaching, loving and nurturing my children I also take the time to nurture my own talents. I’m an inventor of an As Seen on TV product, a national acclaimed author, a business owner, a songwriter, a motivational speaker and a blogger just like you.

Yes, I do all of these things in addition to raising a family of 5 1/2 full-time. I get to stay home and play with my children all day and during school hours and nap-time I get to go after my additional dreams. The skills and attributes I have learned from being a mom have been priceless and no doubt have opened up doors for me that have changed my life. I was humbled and honored to be awarded Wasatch Woman Magazine’s “Mother of the Year” in 2010 and have been able to positively influence many woman who want to be full-time mothers and go after their dreams.

Yes, anyone can get married and anyone can have children but not anyone can have a successful and rewarding marriage and enriching family life. Not a day goes by that I ever regret these last 13 years with my sweet husband. Nor, do I regret being the mother of (almost) four beautiful children. Each day I wake up and get out of bed, I get to be a part of something very special. I get to help these children nurture their talents and become exceptional people who will grow up to help make this world a better place. I get to be a part of making a big impact on this world – raising a loving and caring family. It’s loving and caring families that make up the thread work of a healthy society which is why it’s the most important role in this world – not a menial task. Its tough work that requires a lot of strength, effort and sleepless nights – but it’s worth it.

Amy, I hope someday that you will get to experience being a wife and a mother. Being able to willingly put the needs of others before yourself is something everyone needs to experience. It transforms your life in a way you will never understand until you experience it first hand. I have never been happier and more fulfilled than I am as a wife and mother.

Best wishes to you and your endeavors,

Lindsey

Gabe and Paisley earned an ice cream sundae for passing their swimming class. We went to Arctic Circle!

Later that night we stopped off at the Hof Winterfest in Ogden. It was good to run into old friends and see traditions from Manuel's hometown.

The kids were in awe, watching all the German dancers

Gabe made his own wrapping paper - yes that is a cow saying "moo".

This is his Valentine box he made for school. Sadly, it looks like a shirt that I own.

I can't believe he is going to be eight this year and get baptized!

Manuel and I saw this and laughed our heads off. We thought it said "fart" but Gabe tells us it says, "fat".

Why Moms Go Crazy!

How her room looked in the morning....

Twenty minutes later.

This is why I'm not looking forward to the kids being off track for the next three weeks. How does a tiny human being cause this much destruction in a short period of time? Yes, that's what I asked Cambrey and she just smiled. What you can't see in this picture are the giant bloody boogers she wiped all over her wall (and she's proud of them). The only way I see to avoid this happening to the entire house is to have the kids play outside all day every day or not be home for the next three weeks. Warm weather, please come soon!

Finding Joy in the Little Things

On Monday I had a few minutes to kill before picking up Cambrey from preschool. Paisley was out early from Kindergarten so we decided to take a buy-one-get-one-free coupon to a nearby smoothie shop and we bought the most delicious smoothies ever!

Because I have never bought the kids smoothies this was a real treat! The girls working at the little shop were so friendly to us through the drive through window. They told Paisley they loved her lip earrings and commented on how super friendly I was. Then they topped off the smoothies with layers of whipped cream and squirted whipped cream on top of each straw. Paisley's eyes lit up with joy. but Cambrey was even more excited when we picked her up from school and surprised her with a giant smoothie. She was so happy!

A couple weeks ago on a day that seemed a little glum, I went to the dollar store to get something and happened to see these cute vintage hand soaps - lemon verbena and honey almond. For some reason buying them and putting them on my bathroom counter brought me absolute joy for that day. As silly as it sounds it's finding joy in the little things that can keep the negative out of our minds.

I keep a little book at my night stand where I write down all the blessings that I received that day. I don't do it every day but I find that when I write them down it helps me remember everything good that happened to me especially if my day might not have seemed so good. I'm always surprised at how wrong I was and what I can recognize when I sit down to reflect.

Yesterday was a day full of so many "little things". My kids both improved heavily in their swimming lessons - even their instructors were shocked. Then at parent teacher conferences their teachers showed us what amazing students they both are. I was surprised at how intelligent and dedicated they are and how impressed their teachers were. One teacher commented that their test results prove that they have amazing parents who care and help them.

Then a friend who I haven't talked to in a while showed up at my door and randomly surprised me with a plate of homemade cookies - just because. I had an amazing phone call related to a project I'm working on and got some wonderful news. My daughter got invited over to a play date and she was so happy. Another friend told me how much my hydroheel product had helped her skin and her family's skin. After buying a bunch a couple weeks ago she came by again and bought 10 more - and told me how much her family loves it. Then I received a message on facebook from a complete stranger telling me that she just finished my book, The Realm and how she and her daughter are "in love" with the book and want to know when the sequel comes out. She then posted a great review on Amazon and wrote that this book really helped her teenage daughter at a rough point in her life when she was facing some peer pressure. Then I saw that I sold a How to date Your Spouse book on Amazon.

These may all seem like little things but I appreciated every one of them. It was like all the little negative thoughts that creep into my head such as, "Your books are not that great - you'll never sell them" or "Nothing will ever become of your hydroheel product - just give it up" or "You could spend way more time helping your kids with their reading and homework. If you were a good mom they would know how to swim" and the list goes on.

I recognized all of these "little things" in my evening prayer and expressed my gratitude for all the little reminders that I am a great mom, a great person and what I do matters.

DAILY QUESTION: What are the little things that make you happy?

Refusing to Listen to That Inner Voice of Doubt

Yes, that's my daughter Cambrey

There are days when I ask myself this question, "Why do I write?"

I'm really not sure who reads my blogs other than the occasional person who reaches out through facebook and sends a kind comment my way. Looking at my stats it's clear that several people visit my blog and read my posts daily; but without hearing from them or seeing a face, it sometimes feels as though I'm just keeping an online journal of my own personal thoughts. 

At least that's what that little voice of doubt often says to me. "Why do you write? This is such a waste of your time. What do you hope to get out of this because you are failing at it miserably. There are so many other writers and bloggers who can do this so much better than you. The world already has too many - your posts are not making a difference so you should just move on to something else."

Yes, this is a voice I battle with on a daily basis. I know where it comes from and I refuse to listen to it. To give up is to lose hope. To have a negative attitude is also another way of losing hope. I refuse to lose hope. Hope is what gets me out of bed every morning. It's believing that things can and will get better. It's the reason I keep going and the reason I continue to write.

Ever since I was asked to speak on having a positive attitude for Stake Women's conference I have been keeping a notebook nearby and recording the daily thoughts and experiences I have in relation to this topic. Today while pondering some more I came across this passage in my book Successful Failures.

I have been okay with many of my "successful failures"; for the very sake of sending the message to those around me that it's okay to fail. It doesn't mean that you are a bad person. If anything it means that you took the liberty and energy to try. Most people never even try because of fear or lack of motivation. I would rather be known as someone who tried and failed, than someone who never tried at all.

There you have it! That is why I keep on writing. No, I have never won a special award for my writing and I haven't been offered to write for a popular magazine. It's just something I enjoy and it's very therapeutic. My deepest motivation has always been the real possibility of changing someone's life through my simple and genuine words. If my thoughts and experiences can be used to lift someone else - all of these years of writing will have been worth it.

Let's face it, we all hear voices in our head. Some are encouraging and others are destructive. When you refuse to listen to that little voice of doubt - really you are empowering yourself. Next time it creeps up in your mind - squash it like a fly! Keep doing what you enjoy and improving yourself. One day you'll look back at your life and be glad that you did.

DAILY QUESTION: What does your inner voice of doubt often say to you?

January Mayhem

Last week was one busy week! I got my taste for what it's like to be a single mom again, when Manuel went to CES in Las Vegas for an week. Hats off to all you single moms who endure tirelessly through all of the full-time responsibilities of taking care of a  family.

It seems like everything broke while Manuel was gone. I was fixing toilets, sinks, electronic devices and everything else that usually Manuel takes care of. I shoveled the walks and driveways, took out the garbage and all of Manuel's usual tasks in addition to running the kids to and from school, to dance, swimming lessons each day, making meals, cleaning and helping them with their reading and homework. Somehow I managed to fit in going visiting teaching and having my visiting teachers over, grocery shopping and a few appointments. By the time I put them all to bed I only had a small hour of time for myself before I was too tired to keep my eyes open any longer.

In addition to all of that a very problematic issue arose between me and the company licensing out hydroheel.  I so needed Manuel here to help get around the uncomfortable situation but faced it head on without him. I have an excellent attorney and he stepped in to mediate. It was no fun.

To take my mind off of all of the craziness, I came up with a fun idea. My son said that he needed me to make him a treat for movie day at school the next day. I had no energy to make treats, so I told the kids they could gather up all of their piggy bank money and we would take a trip to the dollar store after dinner and they could have a shopping spree. They were so excited! Each of them rounded up four dollars in change and off we went. They each took a shopping basket and helped themselves through the store until they had four items they absolutely wanted. Then they went through check out and paid the clerk all by themselves. They were so proud. When we got home they spent all night enjoying their treasures. Cambrey was really proud of her Strawberry Shortcake mouth wash.

When pizza night rolled around I decided to let the kids be a part of making dinner to ease my burden. I bought pita bread and let them choose their own toppings and decorate their own pizzas. They chose hotdogs, pineapple, tomatoes, green onions and cheese. We baked them and enjoyed a salad with it. We went down an enjoyed a movie with our dinner until Manuel called us ready to be picked up.

We dropped Manuel off at the airport on Monday and picked him up at the Park & Ride in Kaysville late Friday night. It was good to have him back! Gabe made him a welcome home poster and hung it on the garage door. As tired as he was was from being on his feet all week and working 15 hours a day, we were up the next day as I made food for a baby shower, wrapped gifts for a birthday party and then we headed off to go ice skating with my family to celebrate January birthdays.

Being that I can't be on the ice with a baby in the oven, Manuel had to rotate taking each of the kids out on the ice with sore and achy feet until help arrived. My sister and her friend helped take the girls and then during the last 20 minutes my nephews (who play hockey) arrived and showed the girls some fun on the ice. I was so proud of my husband for being so good and patient with each of the kids on the ice. I had never seen him skate before and didn't know he could and someone said he was very handsome out there. I was also proud of Gabe who had never ice skated or roller skated before and after his first time around on the ice, he picked it right up and skated by himself the rest of the time. He was pretty good too!

After skating, we sang, had cake and watched Easton and Cherise open presents.By the time we got home it was time to make dinner and Manuel and I both had lessons to prepare for primary on Sunday. Sunday came and was very exhausting as I substituted in my daughter's sunbeam class. She was a handful because I was there. By the time we got home, I just wanted to fall asleep but it was already time to make dinner and so the story goes....

The weekend before Manuel left, we took the time to have some fun. I asked the kids what they wanted to do and Gabe chose the trampoline park. We found a coupon in the mail and headed on over. The kids had a blast getting out all their energy and then we went to a favorite local pizza place here in Layton. The waitress let the kids each pick a toy out of their treasure box. I think this last week has been so much fun for them. It's been fun to watch them grow in confidence as they learn to swim, learn to ice skate, learn to shop on their own and excel with their homework.

I am now one tired mom!

DAILY QUESTION: What kind of things do you rely on your spouse for? Do you married ladies ever feel like single moms? And how do you single moms do it all? You are amazing!

That awkward phase in pregnancy when your bellybutton steals the spotlight

Manuel taking Paisley on the ice for the first time.

Cousin Kyler helping Paisley

Counsins Tanner and Kyler helping my girls. So cute!

Manuel and Paisley

Party time!

Cherise and her friend helping Cambrey

Gabe through the glass

My mom ran into her old boss

Paisley's pizza. She made a bear.

Gabes pizza. He made a face!

Cambrey just had fun decorating.

The cute baby shower my friend Lindsey threw for a friend in the neighborhood.

I made a pasta salad.

The kids finally spent their two-dollar bills that great grandma gave them.

Lot's of ladies in my ward are having babies around the same date as me. I am the only one having a boy. Too funny.

First day of swim lessons - Paisley

Gabe

Manuel tossing Cambrey into a sea of foam.

Then he had to toss Paisley was well.

Gabe playing dodge ball.

Gabe way in the back wearing yellow pants

Waiting for our yummy pizza!

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